home sick

I'm terrible at being sick. The low point to my madness was yesterday when I caught myself starting to clean the bathroom. It took me a minute to realize how insane that was before I hobbled back to bed. I have what my mom calls the "superhero syndrome," I love that she came up with that and it so perfectly describes me. It points to something that feels good a lot of the time when I'm feeling 'top' as they say in dutch or having a good day or feeling emotionally healthy but then out of the blue can be so very bad.

And I realize that it makes me a person who lives like I don't need grace. A dear pastor said to me a few weeks ago, 'Brooke, remember that in your weakness your Father is strong. That's just how it works.' And I would say to myself, 'Come on Brooke, just get used to it! He loves your weakness.'

Here's a lovely little Wendell Berry poem I'm been reading nearly daily:

The Wild Rose

Sometimes hidden from me
in daily custom and in trust,
so that I live by you unaware
as by the beating of my heart,

suddenly you flare in my sight,
a wild rose blooming at the edge
of thicket, grace and light
where yesterday was only shade

and once more I am blessed, choosing
again what i chose before.

I'm reading a lovely little book called, Proper Confidence; Faith, Doubt and Certainty in Christian Discipleship by Lesslie Newbigin these days. I'm trying to savor it so it's taking me quite a while despite it's size. Do you ever read a book that you wish deep in your gut could become a part of you, stick to you, with bits always floating around your earlobes, close enough to be caught on a whim and quoted? This is one of those books for me. Here's a little tidbit:

"... the gospel does not become public truth for a society by being propagated as a theory or as a worldview and certainly not a s a religion. It can become public truth only insofar as it is embodied in a society (the church) which is both "abiding in" Christ and engaging in the life of the world."

Good stuff. Okay, what else is going on?

It's been a restful week for me. I took a week off to visit my brother and sister in law in the lovely mountains of Switzerland. It's so good to have family an hour flight away. I feel very grateful. We skied some, though I remember myself being better than I actually am, and did our best to stay on the slopes! The narrow slopes in the Alps are very new to me, they're nothing like the wide Rocky mountains. We tried our hand at snowshoeing as well, ate lots and ate lots of cheese and chocolate.

Oud en Nieuw (New Years Eve) was spent with some of N&T's friends in a nearby small town. It was a fabulous mix matched group of internationals. We started off with a scavenger hunt in the town of Rolle (which brought us instantly closer!) running around looking for empty wine bottles with the city's name on them, the cheapest gas station, the name of the port master, and of course taking a required awkward group photo at each site. The night concluded with a fondue dinner and dancing... lots of dancing!

Going away from the "normal," may that be Amsterdam or Columbus, always gives me life and helps me find center, re-focus, and gain creative ideas. This week was no exception.

I hope you each had a great New Years as well! Here's to a 2011!

snow, neighbors, and baking

It snowed a lot here in Amsterdam on Friday and Saturday (it's still here!). It was so fabulous and for the most part people are jolly and in a good mood about it, except for those who fall while cycling, which has been a daily, hourly, minute by minute occurrence! Most people who are brave enough cycle, do so with one foot either on the ground or ready to plant in case of a slippery spot, even the little scooter dudes who whiz past you on the bike path, sometimes nicking your handlebars, are reduced to driving slowly with both feet gliding along the street. That made me very happy! But for the most part it's just too beautiful to be grumpy. Even though I'd love a white Christmas, I'm hoping I get to my brother and sister-in-love in Switzerland safe and sound before any more flights are canceled or airports shut down.

Here's a little photo story of what happens when it snows on a Saturday and you have super nice neighbors with kids the same age as your dear friends.

babe

Yay! There's a new little babe around town! Just in time for Christmas.
Grant Pershing Nash is a sweetheart. He's Amanda and John's second which means I get a lot more opportunity to hold him and as you can tell here, I'm thrilled about that.

house show

On Saturday we hosted our first house show event. Well, Mark hosted the show at his sweet apartment overlooking a canal, and Rue Royale provided the entertainment (Eva Ellingsworth opened), but it was a a group effort on the part of our faith community. My sister and Rachel gave me the sweet idea of emailing Rue Royale and asking them to play and since it happened to be during a week I was feeling bold and creative, I emailed. And they said, absolutely we'd love to! Hannah provided the gezelligheid complete with glühwein and hapjes, Reetta, Anete, and Amanda baked up a storm, and everyone invited their friends. It's moments like last Saturday night when I look around and think, okay... yes, this is what I love doing. There's a lot about planting a church that's so hard, and annoying, and just plain depressing sometimes, but nights like this give me such joy and I leave feeling like the luckiest girl in the world doing church in creative ways in this city that has crept under my skin and become a part of me.

i like huge tables

On Saturday I went ice skating with some friends on "natuurijs"which can be found on frozen lakes or small ponds, any kind of ice clad body of water which is not man made. We skated on the Oostvaardersplassen. I actually switched back to my boots quite quickly since it was my first time on "noren" ice skates which were a bit too big for me and I'd forgotten to bring my trusty white "figure" skates as a back up. Nonetheless I enjoyed walking the ice and watching people skate off. Noren skates are super fast, people who use them look like the speed skates at the Winter Olympics!

The whole experience was great fun though. It was a very snowy bitter cold day. We arrived by car, parked, and headed down a little path to the lake. A small wooden structure was built next to the lake where other skaters were either putting on their ice skates or taking them off to go home. Everyone was super jolly. I was offered, and accepted numerous cookies and sips of tea. Nieke felt the need to explain, saying this is one of only two times that dutch people connect with strangers... while skating and the other being complaining about public transportation weather delays! Chuckling and still nibbling at our cookies we strapped our skates on and hobbled to the lake. Laughter and calls of "veel plezier" from the wooden shelter following us onto the ice.

I would have to agree with Nieke for the most part about the dutch tendency to connect less with strangers, since she is dutch after all and the expert. But I may add a possible third place of connection and spontaneous gezelligheid; the Coffee Company (which would be the Amsterdam version of Starbucks but much better). Sitting today drinking my latte and reading my book, I accidentally kicked my "neighbor" across the table, he looked up and I laughed apologetically. Later he asked me to watched his mac as he went to the wc. I obliged. He came back and we chatted with a lady and her son enjoying their hot chocolate. He offered to take a photo of them. And blah blah blah. As I settled back to my book I recognized how much I enjoy the Coffee Company tables (pictured below). They're large slabs of wood built together to make huge large tables, while slightly too low for me to cross my leg over my knee, they are the perfect place to engage in pleasant small talk between a sip of coffee and a page of my book. These sorts of tables have become the way I choose a restaurant to eat lunch at or a place to grab a cup of coffee. Wagawama has them and a few others. I enjoy them in the similar way that I love public transportation. Who says we need individual cars or tables to sit at. I love sitting and being human with other humans. I don't know if the guy with the bruised knee feels the same.

Thank God for Sweden

I've been feeling very nostalgic lately. Nostalgia is actually rarely far from me. Perhaps it's that change and living far from family and traditions has been a constant aspect of my childhood and adult life. Ritual and remembered tradition is very special to me.

Yesterday I began to crave the bread my mom would make every Christmas morning growing up. I'm not sure it was actually every year but my memory has deemed it so. I stayed up late yesterday making it and surprised my co-workers with it this morning... plus a few hungry children who were home sick :) Try it.. it may become ritual for you as well!

Swedish Tea Ring:

1 cup warm milk
2 packages of dry yeast (or 4 teaspoons bulk yeast) (let this sit in 1 cup of warm water for 5 min)
1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup melted butter
2 eggs
6 to 7 cups of flour

Mix the following together for the glaze:
3 to 4 cups of powdered sugar
1 teaspoon of vanilla
a pinch of salt

Add water or milk by the tablespoon until the glaze will dribble off a spoon. Set aside.

Measure warm milk into a large mixing bowl. Dissolve yeast in another bowl of warm water. Once dissolved pour yeast water in to the milk. Stir in sugar, salt, and butter. Beat in eggs. Beat in 2 to 3 cups of flour. Stir in remaining flour. Knead on a floured surface. If dough is too sticky, knead in a little more flour, a quarter cup at a time. Let the dough rest for 20 minutes. Afterward, knead dough for a few minutes. Roll out dough into a rectangle approximately 24 inches long by about 16 inches wide. Spread with soft butter. Sprinkle with sugar and cinnamon. Beginning on the wide side, roll up dough. When the dough is rolled, be sure the seam is on the bottom. Grasp dough on each end and pull gently to stretch the dough another couple of inches. Cut the roll of dough in half. Grease two cookie sheets. Take each end of one roll and put them together on the cookie sheet to form a circle. Use a scissors to cut about a third to a half the way through the dough at two inch intervals all around the circle. Gently turn the dough outward. That is, grasp the dough and turn it on its side so that the cuts are on the outside instead of on the top. Repeat with the other roll. Set in a warm place to rise for 45 minutes.

Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 25 to 35 minutes. Allow the tea rings to cool completely. Frost with powder sugar glaze. Use a spoon to drizzle the glaze over the tea rings. Decorate with toasted almonds before the glaze has a chance to set. Cut into slices to serve. This recipe makes two large tea rings. Let me know how it goes!