smitten

I'm a mixed up person, delighted to spend weeks at a lonely cottage on a lake, fresh and close to nature, yet likewise, give me a large city and it's like Christmas morning! Over the years I have made my way through many cities in many different countries. I'm fond of many things; quaint cafes, culture compressed, large museums, dilapidated neighborhoods, fashion, good newspapers, advertising, people from all over the globe, and large universities.... but more than anything my heart skips a beat when it comes to public transportation. Yes, I know... am I insane? Sure.

If possible I hope to never own a car again. I've spent many years of my adulthood commuting to work, school, church, the grocery, and back home with myself, my music, my thoughts.... my individualism.

To ride the subway, tube, underground, or el from one end of a city to the other is the best gift ever. Public transport reminds me that I'm human, a part of this massive lovely world. When I begin to get too comfortable, too self focused in my mind with my ideas, too safe in my part of the city, seeing my friends, I head out to the nearest subway.

And it's in that subway where I love being human again. To love people. I breath in body odor, smile at grafitti, follow the little subway map above my head, notice nice shoes, catch a falling child as the train breaks suddenly, exchange greetings with my seat neighbor, and mostly simply sit and live. Even in total silence there's connection as people all collectively read the free city newspapers or listen to their ipod soundtrack.

I especially enjoy underground transport that zooms us from west to east right beneath the nose of the city in the midst of her happy noisy day. The subway also reminds me that we're all the same; rich, poor, every race and ethnic group, woman, man, child, we all sit as one being, one presence. Exiting up the escalator into the world, the magic wanes..... yet I walk, remembering my human family deep below the earth traveling beneath my happy feet.


(photos: on the london tube, chicago el, el platform, tube escalator)

jaar 1

The day has come... August 18th, 2009!

One year ago today I was saying my tearful goodbyes to a small group of friends and family at the Columbus Airport. I then got on a plane, watched some not so great airplane movies and arrived in Amsterdam where I found Allie (my now flatmate) in the baggage claim. We then proceeded out the doors to the welcoming happy tulip filled arms of Julia who then valiantly hauled our 8 bags back to her house. You still rock my world friend.

One year. I love reflecting back, remembering God stories, looking through journals, thanking God for His love and His voice.

I'm very proud of myself to have survived this year! I was the girl who called dad to figure out how to fill up my car's gas tank when I was 17, the girl who's never done her own taxes, my roommates have always paid the rent and utilities and I've written them a check (i love you shelley!) and now boom, I've managed to find an apartment, succeed in getting a bank account in order so I can pay rent and bills in a language that is still so new to me. I've memorize new phone numbers, addresses, pin codes, transitioned from driving to cycling, got an albert heijn grocery bonus card, and done life without any tragic mistakes in another country for a year. Hurrah!

And just as I was relishing the feeling of being great at life, thinking wow, I am so responsible.... my internet stopped working. Um... what's wrong here? We spent two days of fiddling with the airport and cords, "stealing" wifi from a neighbor, even Bernie came over to help to no avail. Finally I called the lovely upc internet people. I relaxed when I heard the guy say, "I know what's wrong," "You do?! How great!" "Yes," he said, "You haven't paid your internet bill for the past three months so there's a hold on your account." I haven't what?... oh man, there went all my pomp... are you kidding me? Oh yea, okay it's coming back to me now.... that must explain the piece of paper that I didn't really read since it was in dutch about direct online bill payment. Okay, yes thank you very much I'll pay it now and I sheepishly hung up.

Some days it feels like I'm right back at the beginning! Some days are steam lined and efficient, everything goes right. Others are humbling and slow, spent waiting at the upc store for a guy to walk me through how to fill out a form. Thank you nice man. Yup, feeling like a kid again!

And yet I am thankful for these days because they remind me that there's no reason for life to be fast and streamlined to see how lighting quick and efficiently I can move and get things done. It's about the process. I'm here to do it all, to love people, to laugh, to be me, to be free, to pay bills and manage to complete my visit to the upc store in dutch, to play with Gigi in her cute panties in the wading pool, to attend meetings, write emails, have dinner with new friends, talk, plan parties, get groceries for dinner, take out the trash, greet my neighbors, and do the whole of my lovely wonderfully complicated never boring life!

(photos: moi, with luke and allie on my birthday, with some girlfriends)