I went away last weekend to Berlin. It was grand. I'm trying to process. It was perfect timing to get away, following a couple exhausting weeks. I needed some new; new art, new museums, new food, new metro system, new conversations with old friends. And the time exceeded my expectations!

1) To walk around Berlin without an open giant bottle of beer is so not cool
2)"Bonhoeffer" a biography by Eric Metaxas was the perfect book to bring along, I can't seem to read fast enough though, as it reads like a spy novel . It did mean that I had no space for a chunk of the Berlin wall I intended to bring home (I'm not sure if my humor comes across when I'm tired). In case not... the main point: it's a HUGE book but oh so worth it. I will reflect more on this book and what it's stirring in me later.
3) Russian food is spectacular.
4) I managed to not eat one sausage. I'm okay with that.
5) I will always remember the Holocaust monument. One of the most gripping powerful pieces of art I've ever seen.
6) In a similar vein the Jewish museum was hauntingly beautiful. I'll never be able to explain the way the building engages your body, the way the architect build the floors at an angle to disorient you, or the fact that you walk over 10,000 metal faces representing victims of violence. And the hollow metal eyes bore into your soul and you know that you too are capable, you too can do this, you too step on their lifeless heads. And the empty sell like room with a sliver of sunlight at the top, and the heavy door which snaps behind you, fear and enclose and you cry without meaning to but feeling so relieved that you have.
7) I also expected it to be more crazy, more loud, more like a city-wide house (music) show.
But it wasn't, it was artsy and bohemian with a love affair for graffiti, yet quite peaceful. A good mix between Barcelona and Paris.
8) Cycling in Berlin was great though I did not feel at the top of the food chain like I do in Amsterdam. Cars still decidedly hold that place though they do have many bike lanes.
9) People were very kind and smiled as you crossed on the sidewalk! I'm not used to that.
10) Punk style
11) Lidl and Aldi are the main grocery stores! Yep, our grocery bill was very low. Success!
12) Speaking of cheap, food and just about everything in Berlin does not cost a lot.
13) Hardy anyone wears Birkenstock sandals.
14) Germans love their cake... and oh man, so do I!

I'm now home, feeling energized , very happy, and alive! (photos by Amanda O.)

I like themes, I like knowing what to expect. It made me happy to flip through a contemporary art magazine today where every entry had some kind of connection to birds, or to dip into 4 books over the course of a few weeks about a certain theme, to eat cabbage cooked in a variety of ways for a week, to wear black for 3 days straight just because it matches my hair. Themes are nice, rhythm is nice. Yet sometimes things change and surprises are welcome...

I was thinking today how I have this idea of what I'm capable of in my head, what I'm successful at, my skills, the things I should do, and shouldn't do and how sometimes I wake up and realize I'm doing something I never thought I could do and would have freaked me out 6 months ago. That's when all I can say is "Thank you God that you will never stop surprising me. Thank you that I can't put you in a box and thank you for giving me just what I need when I'm pushed out of the nest and forced to figure out how to fly."

I prayed and invited Jesus to lead my life when I was 8, around 15 it became personal and really began to affect my life. At that time I had what I call a conversion to the church and the Holy Spirit, when I was 18 the Bible began to come to life for me, and so it went... year after year I continued to try on and wear more and more of the life of Jesus. And this week I felt like I got saved yet again.

I think it's John Wimber who said "we need to be filled regularly with the Holy Spirit because we leak", it's not just a one off event. I'm starting to think in the same way we need to be saved more than once. Not saved for salvation... that's done once and for all, but saved for ourselves, reminded again. Believe it again. The beauty of the good news caught my breath again this week. The beauty of the story; of God's desire for relationship with us, and sin and pain preventing that. So, in one radical act of grace that revivals all epic novels he became man, sending his son to earth. Jesus lived perfectly and then took all our sin and healed it by dieing in our place. When he rose to life he became the doorway for us back to God. Back to life now with God. And that's the door I walked through again this week. Without recognizing daily my need for salvation I start to forget. I live like I'm not free. I forget why it matters to tell others. I forget that Jesus is in me and wants to move in to every room of my heart and instead I live scared and controlled. And through the beauty of the gospel we're freed from that. I invite repeated opportunities to pull on the sweater of truth and wear it so that it becomes again my very own skin.

the last few days in images