new shoes

I ran for the first time in years yesterday. YEARS. I used to love it. I haven't decided if I love it again yet. I enjoyed the process of thinking about running. It meant I could buy running pants and shoes since the last pair I bought were from the 1999 I think. I plotted out my route (Vondelpark) and set an aggressive schedule (every morning... ya right).

It was a nice run, beautiful sky, fun people watching, my shoes felt good, the sweat felt even better. But it all went downhill when I woke up this morning. Oh yea, I haven't used those muscles in a while. I'm in pain. Hopefully the pain will eventually end. Biking is nice but I want to feel strong again.

And I realize I've received a pair of new shoes in many ways this year. New friends, new team, new house, different food, new language, new street names, new ways to talk about Jesus, new questions, new culture, new way to say hello (love the 3 kisses), new holidays (I remembered the 4th of July on the 5th). New new new. And I love the new shoes but I'm also looking for some old. We'll see if the running sticks.

our jesus

Jesus I found out today, is pretty fabulous, even more fabulous than I already knew He was. This occurred to me while sipping my second cup of mint tea out of a lovely gold trimmed glass, listening to a new friend tell me she plans to go to Blokker to buy the film entitled "Jesus" after she learned that Jesus is referred to 5 times more than Muhammad in the Qur'an.

I grew up knowing that Jesus is a prophet quoted often in the Qur'an, that He was greatly revered and considered a man of God. But today I finally got it. Jesus in the Qur'an. Jesus. My Jesus and your Jesus, our Jesus. We are not be on the same page as to His divinity but what fun to sit in a room and chat about our Jesus. I love this Jesus who is speaking out to us, whether through my Bible or your Qur'an, while listening to pop music on your laptop and discussing our favorite films between agreeing on the miracle of the virgin birth and the brilliance of His teachings.

I love when I'm surprised by Jesus. Thank goodness, it happens all the time.

holland in polaroid

photos: (top to bottom)
allie and ellie in the jordaan
lucas and gigi waiting for a train to the beach
noordmarkt musician
historical museum
mom at the north sea
eva, rachael, nate, and tanya in amsterdam

In June my sister and cousin came to visit. My sister just graduated with her degree in art so in addition to Amsterdam they went on a grand tour of Europe, namely France, Spain, and Italy. Those would be the places to go in my book! I joined them for a weekend in Rome and had a really profound experience.

I am an artist of some sorts and I'm in the middle of an artistic crisis... I studied b&w darkroom photography at university and have been drawing and creating art for my parents home since before I could walk. But since living here in Amsterdam I've been stuck. Not stuck in a swing of bad art which I'm used to those patches. But no art at all. Every picture I take looks like a postcard I've seen in a shop on Dam Square. And even when I do manage a photo or too I realize that all my experience in the darkroom is not helpful when it comes to Photoshop. I'm a novice.

I've even tried the comfort of paint but that's not going much better. At this point my only creative point in the day comes when I choose my clothes in the morning, draw on my makeup, and occasionally bake a cake. I'm experiencing a massive case of writers block for artists. How do you create when you're living in a place that's been so over-duplicated? I long to not make just pretty art but real conversational life art. So, I fled to Rome with my sister to see what would happen there (yes, I'm a bit dramatic...)







I looked around the city; the history architecture, beauty, food, people, my sister amongst the food and people. And it was refreshing and new to me. I began to feel in my groove, to remember why I adored my 50mm lens. And that was nice, but what struck me the most were a few small rooms in the Vatican Museum devoted to contemporary expressions of religious themes. A hundred years ago the pope at the time realized that there was a sad lack of modern art in the museum, so he put the word out and welcomed work from known artists at the time. He received hundreds of pieces from Salvador Dali, Henry Moore, Paul Klee, Marc Chagall, Francis Bacon, Pablo Picasso, Paul Gauguin, and many more. The two pieces that struck me the most were from artists who were unknown to me.


Georg Meistermann's "Pieta" (a stained glass window)

Franco Gentilini's "S. Maria Maggiore" (a painting/drawing)

I wasn't ushered out of my funk but I have some interesting things swirling in my head and I'm looking forward to when they slip out. Whether through a camera, in paint, action, or something else we'll see but I'm considering the idea of "religious art" and how usually it's "bad art" but the Vatican made me re-think that. I'm glad.