looking well in order to truly see

Yto Barrada, "Rue de la Liberte" Tangier Morocco

A few excerpts from a lovely book; Windows of the Soul by Ken Gire

Windows of the soul is a way of seeing that begins with respect. The way we show respect is to give it a second look, a look not of the eyes but of the heart.

The poet Rilke talks about his first exposure to the artwork of Cezanne, how he spent hours in front of his pictures, looking, listening, trying to understand them: " I remember the puzzlement and insecurity of one's first confrontation with his work, along with his name, which is just as new. And then for a long time nothing, and suddenly one has the right eyes."

"If we are to love our neighbors," says Frederick Buechner, "before doing anything else we must see our neighbors. With our imagination as well as with our eyes, that is to say like artists, we must see not just their faces but the life behind and within their faces."

It's almost 2am and I can't sleep so I'm blogging.. hmmmm... I can't be responsible for anything I type after 11pm (that's when I turn in to a pumpkin... so be very afraid)! 

Christmas is in a few days. 4 days. And I'm here in Amsterdam and it feels so normal. Allie and I decorated our apartment (some lights, a tiny tree, 4 special ornaments I brought from home), we're playing Christmas music 24/7, baking cookies.  I'm here and it's so different and I appreciate it, am blessed by it, and really find myself celebrating it. Around the city it's similar to Columbus in a few ways.... Christmas lights, a few brave carolers, parties, and a little shopping. The huge difference is that restraint is also present.. I'm trying to think of a different better word but it's not coming to me.  What I'm trying to say is that sanity has remained in the city despite Christmas time being here. Wow, I'm not used to that. The past few weeks I've felt so much peace and really been able to focus more. At home I was always slightly stressed around this time of year.. trying to cram everything in, all the shopping, the parties, the baking... all the same things that I'm doing here but without restraint. 

Is this even making sense?

Here are some things I love about Christmas time here... most people who believe in Jesus and celebrate the real Christmas don't even give gifts on the 25th, Christmas morning is a time to go to a special service at church and then return home for a nice dinner with family.  Gifts are given at Sinterklaas (Dec. 5th) and even then it's just one small gift. If you do give gifts on the 25th they are small, even the word for gift implies little gift = "cadeautje" .. the "je" at the end of a word sometimes means small or little. For some reason I just love it, it makes me warm and fuzzy inside... the smallness, the personal touch, the little thought... and when a gift is given it's almost a surprise, an unexpected little joy that you weren't expecting, weren't requiring but is kindly received. I feel more balanced here, the anxiety I usually feel is absent. I hope to be out of the country at this time of year for the rest of my life (except I'd like all my friends and family to be with me as well!) I can wish right? Ha ha! ... I pray that you all experience deep peace and joy in remembering Jesus' birth and the moment in history that changed the world and brought true hope when God became man.

Ok, all of this will be a lie in the morning when I wake up a mean person... so I better make myself sleep... love to you all.

december catch up

Gingerbread houses with the kids (and us). We created narrow dutch houses complete with tram tracks, dutch flags, bikes, and attic windows.

Our bitty Christmas tree. I love it. We had to prop it up with a Heineken crate so you could see it over the couch.

A great party on Friday! We invited neighbors, language school classmates, internet friends... Had a household of wonderful new friends! It was a blast hearing people's fascinating life stories! We crashed around 2am. So fun!

Reading stacks of Christmas cards from Joshua House. Thank you! We feel so loved!

Rachel and Allie trying to stay warm. It's been so cold here this week.

how we did it

Since I've received so many comments and questions about the nativity set (doesn't Lucas' sheep rock!), I thought I'd let you in on the fun so you too can create one with your family/friends. First I must give all the credit to my mother who's brilliant and would always succeed in making each Christmas full of special surprises. My brother, sister and I created our first nativity set at her direction. And she would always make the most amazing wise men! They usually had awesome turbans and caftans on while holding an ornate treasure box.

1. Use Sculpey clay (you can buy it at Michaels, JoAnnes or craft store.  Buy a variety of colors and with a knife cut each block into 4-6 smaller pieces so that no one has to fight for colors. Each kid/adult can have a little bit of each color. If there's still the chance for fighting then put a bit of each color in a zip lock bag and each kid has their color palette ready to go (you can tell how I was when it came to sharing clay!). For more info on this amazing clay, check out sculpey.com

2. Begin with Alumnium foil and scrunch it together into the shape you're creating. Form a head, neck, shoulders... and basic body. Then you can smooth out thin flat pieces of clay and attach it over the aluminum foil. This helps it bake quicker in the end and also saves clay. 

3. Let creativity reign! You're nativity set can be set in your family's cultural/racial context or in the context of the Bible. Have fun! Let each person really do what they want. As you can see our nativity was very different... Joseph is mexican and Mary is a gypsy, one of the wise men is a woman, on and on. Also, feel free to put out toothpicks and things to poke and add details with. 

4. When you're done, pop the pieces in the oven on a cookie sheet for 15-20 minutes at 275 degrees F or 130 degrees C. Let them cool for a few minutes and ta da.. you have your hand made one of a kind nativity set!

Enjoy! We had a great time sitting around and talking/laughing making a lovely mess together.

p.s. my beautiful book is up and running (things I happen upon in daily life/art/creativity)... feel free to stop over and check out the beauty!

bcbeautifulbook.blogspot.com

re-creating a holiday in holland

We went all out for out first Thanksgiving in Holland. In a few years we'll probably be eating chicken and cold potatoes but this year we did out grandmas and mothers and cousins and aunt Annes proud! I made pumpkin pie (I'm very proud of the one above), apple pie and of course my Nana's rolls. Amanda and John conquered the turkey, freshest one I've ever had. We think it was probably still alive a couple hours before they picked it up from the butcher. Allie made an awesome salad, Julia made cranberry sauce, casseroles, Rachel made the best mashed potatoes I've ever eaten and Eric bought a slab of butter. What a fun day. We started in the morning with breakfast at Allie and my house. We also had art class! Since advent begins on Sunday and we don't have a nativity set brought from home, we made one! Everyone made a piece. Isn't it amazing! It was created out of sculptey clay and then baked in the oven. I love baby Jesus created by Rachel (Grayson little pointy hat was the inspiration!)

good job

Last night on the way back from Utrecht Vineyard (about an 1 hr or so trip) it started to snow! It had been spitting all day but it really committed right about 5pm (when we were on the train). It was so beautiful to watch the landscape fly by and think about winter, which always takes my mind to Christmas, traditions, childhood, fun, family, baking, snow angels... and on and on. It's fun to think about starting new traditions this year and keeping some old ones as well. I'm going to make sure to keep one very important one: making my mom's famous (to me!) cream cheese Christmas cookies. They're so addictive and because there is no sugar in the dough you get to pile on the sprinkles and candy for a wonderful sweet/slightly sour taste that wakes up your mouth! So good, I'm drooling just thinking about them! 

Today in class............(I definitely flaked out and took public transport... which really Brooke, if being tough means riding a bike in the freaking icy cold and being a baby means riding the tram... then what was I when I would jump in my warm dry car? Ha, the funny rules I make up for myself! Well at least no biking in the ice for me until I get my front wheel fixed. It's going to happen dad I promise. Soon. Really).........

 

So, anyway in class.. HURRAY!! Huge day. I got a writing assignment back and on the top in green writing it said "Goed teksten!"... which in effect means, good work! A compliment, wow! I was slightly skeptical since my page also had corrections all over it as well... but I was thrilled non the less! They're intense and very good at the poker face but today they slipped. Ha! I just had to share!

beauty

Saturday. Lovely day. Woke up late (after a movie with some friends last night from class) It was good to connect with them outside of class. I attempted to make gluten free (no wheat flour) pancakes this am. They were okay. One of my many dreams in life is to someday make GF food that tastes as good or better than the reg. thing. I have a long way to go. Everything looked beautiful on the table though. 

 I have a journal which I call my "beautiful book" and I paste things in there that inspire me/grab my attention (here's a picture of it). Since I'm becoming more digital and blog more than I journal on paper anymore.. I too will move my beautiful book to a blog. For now I'll post a couple things here. 

Mobile: Found it at a little fair trade shop. Gorgeous made out of recycled paper. It will probably be a gift for someone(act surprised if it's you!)

Clutter on a table: I love arial pictures of food/plates/action. So here's a picture of Allie preparing her pancake .

On a totally different not I'm off to a osu/michigan (our big rival) game (American football). It should be lots of fun. Even a few of our dutch friends who like A. football are coming! Go Buckeyes! (I don't think I've ever said that before... living in another country sure does strange things to you... making you connect back to your roots in unexpected ways. Hmm.

Oh and p.s. we had our first snow/hail/ slush/rain  here. Winter is really coming. Lovely. My favorite time of the year. I'm counting down the days till spring already. It's going to be a long winter on a bike covered in my poncho. Good thing I got rain boots when I was home. Now I just need water proof gloves. 

back

Last week I took a quick little pop back to Columbus, Ohio for one of my dear friend's wedding. Shelley married Jonathan (a wonderful guy) on Saturday November 8th. It was such a treat to be there for their wedding and it was totally God that I got to be back for it. I arrived in on Wednesday November 5th. I got to spend some time with Shelley, my family, and some friends before the wedding. Throughout the ceremony, standing there in my purple dress that fit (thanks to Katie Hertert who was my fit model in Ohio when I was in Amsterdam!) I kept saying to myself, "I can't believe I'm here, I can't believe it, I can't believe I'm here!"

A gift! I've been using that word a lot these days as I journal and talk and think... it's a gift, a gift. Gift. Being home was a gift, my parent's, my sister flying in for the weekend from Chicago, my brother and my gorgeous sister-in-law, my friends who are so sweet and dear to me, even when we're not living in the same city. It's amazing how I fit in Columbus and I fit in Amsterdam. What a wonderful feeling! Vineyard Columbus is a gift, Rich's messages, seeing Roxi & Bernie, my team members who move here in less than 2 months!, Tara loaning me her car... and making me Anathallo & Rosie Thomas music for the ride!, Starbucks with Kelly, Northstar breakfast with dad & bumping in to people there, errands with mom, cheap theatre movie, morning chapel with mom and dad, getting awesome prayer, Mandy's hugs,  seeing Brent, Christian, and Ashley during VLI break, Staying up late with Chris & Nikki laughing and talking, Bernie's popcorn, Laura's welcome back sign in Dutch, dancing with Jim, missing Amsterdam, missing my new friends here, laughing, flying back in class!, finding out that I got the dutch teacher I was praying for! Class starts back on Monday. Yay. Julia and John are also starting class on Monday... two spots opened up at the last minute! So many gifts!

It was a short week and I was nervous about how it would feel to come back to Amsterdam after such a short time. It helped a lot walking out of baggage claim and seeing my whole team waving signs and flowers there to greet me! Allie, Julia and Gigi, Amanda and John, Rachel, Rachel, and Grayson!! It was so special.. here's a picture of the welcoming crew in the airport enjoying Starbucks before we trained back to the city. It's now Friday and I got some great sleep last night and I'm just catching up with life here now. I'm going to run to the market and get some food and say hi to my neighbors. Tomorrow we're having Chipotle and game night. Ta ta for now!

poetry

When I was home this week (I'll tell you about that in the next post) I rediscovered poetry and how much God speaks to me through it. Especially poems by Wendell Berry. They are like a small surprise gift. Here's a lovely little one for you to nibble on:

Dust

The dust motes float

and swerve in the sunbeam,

as lively as worlds,

and I remember my brother

when we were boys:

"We may be living on an atom 

in somebody's wallpaper."

a breath

It's Monday. And one of the first Mondays in a while that I haven't woken up at the crack of dawn. It feels kind of nice. But also strange. I have a 2 weeks holiday from dutch class and then I'll head back in to the fray on the 17th of November! Here's a picture of my dutch class. We went out to lunch to celebrate the end of level 1. What a hilarious group! We've laughed a lot the past 9 weeks and also groaned in pain during difficult times, when our brains were bursting.

I was craving something new today and little bit of quiet so I found Begijnhof. It's only a few streets from me and really beautiful. It used to be a community of women who were devoted to service and prayer (kind of like nuns). The houses are in a circle all facing eachother and create a beautiful courtyard where there's a little church and chapel. I just sat there for a while. I've been craving silence and quiet... and I got it. I really felt God's presence too. It was very sweet. 

Saturday I went with Allie and a some really great people from her program to Museum Nacht. 41 museums were open from 7pm-2am. Each one had a special event, performence, or project you could be a part of. All the public transportation was free with your ticket as well.. so we got to explore all over the city in the middle of the night! My favorite was the zoo. We went on a tour in the dark and saw all the animals you usually miss during the day. The owls were super sweet! I felt like an intruder. It was kind of a rush. We also went to the Portuguese Synagogue. It doensn't have electricity so the place was full of candles. Amazing! At midnight they had a quartet perform. It was really lovely! 

Sunday we headed down to Utrecht Vineyard to see friends there and connect a bit. It's so sweet how Vineyards feel a bit like home no matter where you are. We're trying to make it to Utrecht at least once a month. Here's a few pictures. As you can see we enjoyed hearing the message translated and as a result we all decided Amanda should be a head phone model! Well my friends, that's about all I can muster up tonight. Hope you're all doing well. 

Tot ziens!

poncho

I woke up this morning to clouds and rain. Lovely. I was a baby and just couldn't do the biking in the rain thing so I took the tram. Me and half the city. No one wanted to cycling today I think. Hmm... I definitely had a few bouts of claustrophobia on tram #5 today. I made it just in time for class though. We had an exam today (listening and reading).  I met up with the Nashes at the Bijlmer Arena stop on the metro, just outside the main part of the city. The got a stroller and rain gear. I also bit the bullet and bought a poncho to add to ever expanding rain gear collection. Yea, it's as amazing as it sounds! (I really can't believe I'm 27 years old and wearing a poncho to school while riding a bike with saddlebags :) Yea, that's me!

Tonight Allie and I explored our neighborhood a bit more. Love walking at night.. you get to see in everyones homes. Very fun! We even went in to the neighborhood community center. Fyi, you can take belly dancing, country line dancing, digital photography, and a power point class all from the little community center on our street! We finished up with a drink at one of the little cafes. It was a nice night.

Friday was amazing... Allie and I hosted Julia's birthday party/reason to invite everyone we've met in all our classes so far, over. I made appel taart.. which my new friend Paula taught me how to make.. it's very dutch.  And everyone came. Probably about 50 people showed up. Crazy. It's only been 3 months! Lots of people were crammed in to our apartment. Great conversations, laughing, speaking different languages (Greek, Arabic, German, Italian, and of course dutch and English). I was in my element! Especially when I would head out of the house at random times to retrieve friends who'd gotten lost on their way. Quite exhilarating for some reason. I even cycled all the way to the Rijks Museum to lead a friend back in her car! I was cracking up the whole way back. We flopped in bed around 2 am, very happy. 

My bike is also officially back in commission.  70 euro later.. ugh. A couple of the spokes had broken which had bent the wheel and was the cause of the wobbling. I feel nice and secure again. No need to worry about me anymore!  And since this post has somehow started and ended with bikes, I'll give you another glimpse of what's to come... oh man:

la la

Hello friends... just wanted you to know I'm still breathing. I'm in la la dutch land today and this week studying for an exam on Tuesday and Thursday so that I'll be able to take the next level. I have lots of interesting stories to tell about our sweet party on friday and other things but you'll just have to wait in eager anticipation! Tomorrow I have class, then I'll hang with Grayson for a bit so the Nashes can go retrieve their bikes from the bike snatchers.. dang them. Tuesday Allie and I are going to an interesting Bible reading thing in the Jordaan.. I have no idea what to expect.. should be fun to meet some more people who live around us. Wednesday we have another hang out at the Pickerills with the small group... I'm loving that what it means to church plant these days is having lots and lots of parties! This is the best thing ever, parties, making new friends, and great conversations. Friday is the last day of dutch class. We'll have a two week break to gather our brains back together and then plunge back in. This has been a supper sweet class of people that I really like spending time with. Many of them came to the party and we're having a class lunch after the exam on Thursday. So, all in all it looks like a full, good week ahead of me. 

I wish I were a bike repair man

On the way back from class, I stopped at the Nashes house to hang, have a snack, kiss little Gray and check in. The temp has dropped by 10 degrees I think.. I'm bad at guessing temps. .. but I am definitely wearing my winter'ish coat now. My bike wheel has also started to wobble. Great timing. I've made it a couple week by just kicking the wheel back in place (I'm becoming so dutch, aren't you proud!) but I think I'll need to take it in tomorrow. I'm becoming good friends with the bike shop owner across the street. Thank God it's close! 

Today in class, I was so proud of us! The teacher gave us #s and randomly Eric, M, and I were in a group together. I'm sure the teacher sighed, thinking.. how did that happen? We tend to talk a little too much English :) Anyway we're doing way better... and spoke only in dutch for the next 45 minutes or so. We had to practice interviewing each other. And wow.. I'm so proud! Eric is doing great. His vocab is way better than mine.. I'm still throwing in french words when I get stuck. I gotta stop that.. and M did great too! She has a good accent knowing hebrew.. lots of ggrrhhhh sounds.. It was a good day! I can't believe our first quarter of dutch is almost over. Wow, that went supper fast.

This weekend was fun. Saturday night we played a rousing game of Settlers of Catan.. Lots of fun! I even tried a gluten-free-strawberry-shortcake-made-up-in my-head-recipe on them. I always try GF recipes out on not GF eaters to know if it's good or not. And it passed the test! Sunday we visited a church here in town and it was really great. It's so refreshing to just worship God with others. After church Allie and I went to a little town outside A'dam a bit with our new friend T and has a blast! She took us to this great little very touristy area where you can experience old dutch things (clogs, cheese, windmills, candy)! I've posted some pictures! Then she taught us how to make this amazing Indonesian egg dish. Yum. It was a really sweet time to be in a home and enjoy her family and her. We're hanging out tomorrow too. I love new friends that you can't stop seeing because you enjoy them so much! Tomorrow we also have small group. I'm looking forward to it... always a fun, interesting, cross cultural, worshipful time!

Learning new things:

1. When I get tired/sick and I am trying to speak dutch, only french comes out... and then I react by laughing hysterically and then bursting in to tears. Yea, that happened twice today. Oh well.. such is my life lately, emotional roller coaster!

2. Its very rude to be late to class. Even a minute. Teachers here mean business.

3. People enjoy knowing what your hobbies are. Even dutch politicians have their hobbies listed on their websites.

4. Children's books are so good here! Amazing illustrations. I have a stack sitting on my coffee table right now, they sure help with the language!

5. When you enter a home, you walk around the room and greet each person before settling down into one conversation.

6. Folks seem to eat very little but when they do, lots of brootjes and koekjes (bread and cookies).

7. You do not bike, you cycle.

8. I really enjoy the people I spend 16 hours/week with. Today we talked about work and I learned that there is a  doctor, lawyer, 3 teachers, a mechanic, psychologist, and translator to name just a few, all in my class. They're delightful. Especially when it's Friday and we've all had a long week... everything is really funny, we laugh a lot, and can't seem to pronounce words very well.

9. The sunsets and sunrises after a stormy few days are fabulous.

10. The Vondelpark bike path is very empty on rainy days, maybe I should get a clue and take the tram/bus/metro as well. I'll try to wait till the really gross cold winter weather starts

11. It hailed yesterday. I escaped the onslaught by hiding under a highway overpass on my way home from class with a friend.

12. Gloria reads so well to Grayson as Lucas looks on.

the early days

Saturday we met up with our small group (about 20 of us) at the main train station and headed to the North Sea. On Wednesday night, at group I'd heard that this was a very dutch thing to do.. on a sunny autumn day! We had a nice train ride... lots of fun with the kids! It was a kick to watch Lucas P. and B & K's son play despite the language barrier! They just rattled away in their native tongue and got along just fine! The beach was full of people, all bundled in coats and scarves. We had a little picnic lunch and then walked along the shore and drank in the sun. I walked with D for a while and we spoke in dutch, with an english word thrown in here or there. I need to practice what I've been learning in class out in the real world.. and it's much easier to do it with people I love and enjoy!

I also finally had some time to made some art.. so here's a glimpse! I adore old polaroids.. which by the way, the company is no longer making film so it's hard to come by... if any one knows of a random website/flee market/ black market (!!) location with polaroid film let me know, I'm stocking up! I had a really nice day. It's so sweet to do life, and enjoy time with people I've only known/ lived in the same city with for 2 months but who have a common bond and connection despite all our differences. Doing things like this are really important to us these days.. as we start to move toward becoming a new church! 

Also, notice I've added some new prayer needs... especially the last two are on my mind a lot these days. Thank you for praying for me!

title: the early days of vineyard amsterdam (1973)

new art work/life

house guests, love em!

The past few days I've started to feel a bit homesick. Homesick for family, the known, for history with people. Bam, God is so kind with his timing! Thursday I met up with Julia, Gigi, Bram, and Deborah at the airport and we welcomed the Nashes to Holland! I can't describe how happy I was/am!!.. (and there was the added bonus of Starbucks in the airport, yippeee!) They didn't look at all like they'd been up all night. What studs.

We got them home in two cars, had some breakfast and coffee with everyone. At that point John and Amanda started to droop so the party left and they slept (Allie and I played with Gray until he finally crashed out on my bed nestled between pillows). Later that night everyone came back for dinner! Rachel B. (who'd arrived the same day) and the Pickerill gang made it through the driving rain. Our dryer was working overtime! We ate yummy food, toasted, and laughed and talked... and missed the Larsens (can't wait for you to be here!) At one point I was laughing so hard I started to choke and it felt so good! (the laughing part!) It's been a while since I've laughed like that... it was so good being with "old" friends that have known me for longer than 2 months! 

Friday was also a treat! We attended our first ever Vineyard Beleux conference (the region we're a part of). And guess who was there? Don Williams! It was so good to worship, really worship and then hear from Don. The theme was Kingdom Journey... all about who we are as the Vineyard. What distinguishes the Vineyard? The emphasis on the Kingdom of God. He started with the large scope... in the Old Testament and then slowly moved to the NT. For maybe the first time I really got it in a whole new way! I felt like he was speaking straight to me! There were only 50 of us there (leaders from the near by Vineyards in Lithuania, Belgium, Estonia, Luxembourg, Sweden, etc..) so it was very free and Don really preached it!... and told lots of wonderful stories (my favorite part!) And in lovely Dutch fashion every hour we had a break for coffee and cookies/ lunch or dinner... so we had lots of time to meet people from all over Europe and share stories! I even got to practice some of my Dutch with some from Utrecht. 

So, things are going well! It's wonderful having the Nashes staying here... seeing Gray's toys everywhere and doing life! It's one of my favorite things! It's now Saturday and we're going to maybe take Amanda and Gray exploring after his nap.  

little Grayson playing in the kitchen

today you get: stream of consciousness

Dutch is trucking along. Here's a picture of my book and dictionary... my close friends these days. I spent a while at a great little coffee shop 2 blocks from my apartment today. It's been so fun being able to get the gist of newspaper articles and understand some of the things people say around me! Speaking of articles, here are a couple I read (skimmed with the help of my dictionary!) today. I thought the article's accompanying images communicate well:

The first is about Ramadan and the debate over whether the next two days (Eid Ul-Fitr) should be considered an official holiday in the Netherlands. I've been thinking about this idea a lot. In a city like Amsterdam where half the people are internationals; sensitivity to religious and cultural traditions is a hot topic. My class had a big test on Rosh Hashanah and a class party was planned during Ramadan (which ruled out more the half the class). I'm not saying we need to tiptoe around everyone's traditions but I do think in a place like this where there's a sort of "war" of misunderstanding, especially between Muslims and the secular culture, effort needs to be made. I'm not talking about just tolerance... I think it's something more toward appreciation and celebration. It reminds me of a video my pastor showed one time, "Celebrate What's Right With the World." I think holidays and special occasions are something to appreciate; and to celebrate their importance to a group of people, even if you believe radically different things. Plus at a very simplistic level it means tasty new foods to try and words to learn!

The second article visually depicts what's happening economically in America... perhaps the world. It's been strange to watch CNN at night, hear people talking in cafes, and skype with folks who are wondering what to do with their money... and feel so far away from it all. I woke up Monday and was scared thinking about what could happen. I plunged into the fear for about 5 minutes and then I felt the Lord check my spirit, and almost say "hey" and point my chin back up toward him. Fear is not from me [God]. Never. And so I took a deep breath and tried to pray instead. This is no surprise to God. The banks have lost control, the government doesn't know what to do, but God is in control, and even if everything tumbles, that fact gives me amazing comfort. He's in control of me, my parent's retirement, my time here, the church etc...

        [new train of thought]

Every morning I wake up at 7am, spend some time with the Lord, eat, get ready and leave the house at 8:30 for a 20 min bike ride down to class. The ride is beautiful... along a bustling market, through Vondelpark, the fancy neighborhoods surrounding the park, under (literally) an old school, and under the A10 freeway to the Vrije University. The 10 min. that it takes to cycle from the park to VU smells like parsley. Strange but so beautiful.. I want to bottle up the smell.

On Saturday I was invited to a little cottage that P & C from small group own/live in most of the year. P invited me for lunch and I had a sweet time getting to know her, playing with her pets, enjoying the garden, and learning new dutch phrases. She taught me some great ones:

      Ik houd van jou (I love you)

      Oh, jongen jongen... (oh boy oh boy...)

      Precise (exactly!) For some reason this is one of my favorites!

I also wonder if one day I'll be able to look back to this time and clearly comprehend all that's happening. It's all going so fast. I don't feel like I can process enough or think enough or remember enough.  I want to save everything. All the details. All the good conversations. Even the moments of confusion and embarrassment (they may make sense later!)

the weekend

view from my window

the sun comes to vondelpark (sunday after church)

"artemis" comes to amsterdam 

in an instant the city seemed even smaller

getting some love

change

I don't have a lot of time to make art these days so I took a "30 min" break from studying and let loose on my blog. You may have been confused. Some of you may know that I thrive on changing my environment. I get it from my mother. I'm always moving a picture or rearranging couches anywhere I live... 

It's been a good few days here:

1. Saturday Allie and I had our first little hang out at our apartment! It was so fun! We had a very dutch brunch... hard boiled eggs, breads, cheese, fruit, and lots of coffee! Allie's friend from school came, the Pickerills, the V's, and even Connor's friend and mom from his school. After breakfast we all went to an outdoor market.

2. Sunday I went to Utrecht Vineyard with everyone. We carpooled with our friends the V's and the N's. It was a little crazy since no cars were allowed in Amsterdam on Sunday due to a big marathon. It was so good to worship, to enjoy 3 coffee times during the service, and to spend time with new friends. Eric preached which was fun as well.

3. Monday was my brother's birthday and I had the best time skyping with him and the rest of the family! My sister even happened to call from Chicago, so she jumped on skype and we had a three way conference call! I was so happy! 

4. Language school was so awesome today (even though we found out half of our big test is on Monday.. ahhh). During the break we all stood around and shared how old we were... weird, right? Well you would have had to be there. Saying numbers in dutch is kinda hard for some of us (me included!) so we were dieing with laughter! It was really fun! It's been so sweet getting to know such an eclectic fascinating group of people... and it makes learning a new language way better. We even have a party this weekend.

5. Tonight Allie and I had some great time praying for each other. I needed it so bad!

6. Tomorrow Eric, Julia, and I are hanging out with T to practice dutch! I'm glad to have a friend willing to listen to my broken messed up dutch and lovingly correct me!  We also have small group. Another fun group of people. 

Ok, well... that's all I've got. I'm going to hit the sack... Good night!

my toes

No pictures for this one. They were really blurry. It's better though, I want to remember how I felt at the show. Bon Iver. In Amsterdam. Last night (Friday). With Allie. Gewoon prachtig (a dutch phrase I like alot=simply fantastic!) Allie has loved this group for a while so I gladly accepted when she asked me to come along.

First, I want to quote two tid bits I read recently.

1. A book Julia loaned me called Simpler Living Compassionate Life. There's an excerpt by Cecile Andrews that says, "In living mindfully, we pay attention to whatever we're doing and "suck out all the marrow," as Thoreau said. We become deeply absorbed in what we are doing, appreciate the people we are with, being conscious of the wind on our face... taking the time to notice, slowing down, sitting peacefully, and just being."

2. A book by Bill Johnson called Dreaming with God. "God never intended the believer to be a puppet on a string. God actually makes Himself vulnerable to the desires of His people... while much of the Church is waiting for the next word from God, He is waiting to hear the dream of His people. He longs for us to take our role, not because He needs us, but because He loves us."

The theme of dreaming/creativity/mindfulness/simply living has been in my face a lot lately. These days my life consists of very simple things: going to school, studying, eating with new friends, listening to a new language, being quiet a lot, getting to know my new city, reading, praying, buying food, cooking food, sleeping. And it's been difficult at times coming from a pace of life that was not at all like that. I hardly had time to eat, let alone be quiet and pray sometimes. God's been quieting me down asking me to be still. Remember who He is and that He is God and He loves me and has a plan for my life and an amazing plan for the church, way better than something I can make up. 

So, it was last night that I got a glimpse of God, again! Of worship.  As J (the singer of Bon Iver) walked on the stage, I thought, "who let this guy on?" He looked like a mountain man, wild hair and a beard, plaid flannel shirt. Straight from the Mid-West. He sat down pulled out his guitar and started to sing... a light gut wrenching note. And I though, "oh, never mind.. I see now..." I was in a daze the rest of the night... as J went from a quiet whispery song to yelling and almost roaring in the mic as his band mates hammered on drums behind him. Every inch of his body was a part of the music. The muscles on his face, his legs and arms. I saw King David in this guy. And as I stood there with the music swallowing my body. I thought about worship. About what it means to really worship. This emotion is in my head when I worship but this guy just gave me permission to let it out for good. To really give in to worship. To let it out of my toes, my ears, and the top of my head. 

beauty I've seen lately