my team: a gift

we were pretty excited to be all together again!

considering it all, well.. at least a few things.

I've been thinking so much these days. My brain is bursting. Today I feel so blessed and so free. Bernie and Roxi walked off the plane a few hours ago. We were all there bearing loads of tulips and were our big loud happy American selves for a few minutes. It's been 6 months since I've seen them, since our team has been together but it just picked right up again! We had quite a welcoming committee there and the day was so special to spend all together. We were peeing our pants laughing just like we're used to! It was delightful! They bring such stability and a sense of presence to our team. They are a gift to us. I am so thankful for them, and for Grayon Lewis Nash (he turned 1 today) and ate his first birthday cake as all 1 year olds do, opened presents, walked around on shaky legs and laughed a lot. It was a delight. I'm thankful for the VU (Vrije Univ.), for the fact that I thought I could not learn a language the "sit in a classroom" style but in fact it was a lie. I've learned so much and am so excited to keep pressing in and practicing and making a fool of myself in order to learn this wonderfully complex and fascinating language.

doug mills (nytimes)

So I think I got a glimpse.. in a strange way of God tonight, a window to heaven. Powerful.

I saw the first day of celebrations for Obama's inauguration on tv tonight. I'm so glad Allie got a text from her friend telling us to tune in. Despite the dutch subtitles, I felt like I was standing with the 750, 000 people in front of the Lincoln memorial crying my eyes out as Bono sang "In the Name of Love" with the Edge and the band jamming away. And then Bono said something like "... let freedom reign.. in every village, every palace, every city... and this is not just an American dream, it's an Irish dream, a European dream, an Israeli dream, .......... and a palestinian dream!" 

It was so powerful seeing beautiful diversity pouring off and on the stage... and in that moment I knew and felt that God was getting the glory. The whole celebration was not about Obama (well, for me it wasn't)...  but gospel choir after choir, country music singers, rappers, pop artists, opera singers, actors quoting American leaders like ML King, JF Kennedy, Roosevelt, and on and on. It was like a look back at the beautiful aspects of history, the parts I'm not embarrassed by, and what I see as glimpses of God's beauty and His wisdom through the words of some of the country's past leaders.  I had a moment. And I thoroughly reveled in it!

best

Best of 2008; a year of rich experiences

-pressing in to life in ohio while also prepping to move

-the amazing faith building life giving experience of raising support

-support dessert. who would have known, such a joy!

-team. team. team. 

-soaking prayer

-little jh group at mom and dad's

-moving home for 2 months

-connor, lucas, gloria, grayson

-trying new things for the heck of it (golf)

-seeing cousin rachael 3 times in one summer!

-soaking in family

-risking in relationships

-visiting north carolina for a "last family vacation for a while" trip

-thousand splendid suns by khaled hosseini

-pilgrims of christ on the muslim road by paul gordon chandler

-the lord and his prayer by nt wright

-wendell berry poetry

-upper peninsula of michigan

-sliming down my possessions

-loving my students well and blessing them

-camping at breathe

-learning to love dancing

-a going away party from heaven

-wedding joy: shelley and jon, tara and jimmy

-skype/facebook: the joy of internet communication!

-bon iver show at the paradiso

-living with allie

-learning to love wearing red, tights and boots, and hats

-going to church christmas day

-new years eve memories

-gouda cheese

-starting to draw again

-working/doing life with the people I love

-the museumkaart (unlimited access to dutch museums)

-public transportation

-without vcc/family/friends support structure, learning to dig in to jesus

-talking about jesus more than ever before

-reading to maintain sanity

-friends all over the world

-being ok with weak. i don't always have to be/act strong

-language learning

-discovering picnik.com and poladroid.net

looking well in order to truly see

Yto Barrada, "Rue de la Liberte" Tangier Morocco

A few excerpts from a lovely book; Windows of the Soul by Ken Gire

Windows of the soul is a way of seeing that begins with respect. The way we show respect is to give it a second look, a look not of the eyes but of the heart.

The poet Rilke talks about his first exposure to the artwork of Cezanne, how he spent hours in front of his pictures, looking, listening, trying to understand them: " I remember the puzzlement and insecurity of one's first confrontation with his work, along with his name, which is just as new. And then for a long time nothing, and suddenly one has the right eyes."

"If we are to love our neighbors," says Frederick Buechner, "before doing anything else we must see our neighbors. With our imagination as well as with our eyes, that is to say like artists, we must see not just their faces but the life behind and within their faces."

It's almost 2am and I can't sleep so I'm blogging.. hmmmm... I can't be responsible for anything I type after 11pm (that's when I turn in to a pumpkin... so be very afraid)! 

Christmas is in a few days. 4 days. And I'm here in Amsterdam and it feels so normal. Allie and I decorated our apartment (some lights, a tiny tree, 4 special ornaments I brought from home), we're playing Christmas music 24/7, baking cookies.  I'm here and it's so different and I appreciate it, am blessed by it, and really find myself celebrating it. Around the city it's similar to Columbus in a few ways.... Christmas lights, a few brave carolers, parties, and a little shopping. The huge difference is that restraint is also present.. I'm trying to think of a different better word but it's not coming to me.  What I'm trying to say is that sanity has remained in the city despite Christmas time being here. Wow, I'm not used to that. The past few weeks I've felt so much peace and really been able to focus more. At home I was always slightly stressed around this time of year.. trying to cram everything in, all the shopping, the parties, the baking... all the same things that I'm doing here but without restraint. 

Is this even making sense?

Here are some things I love about Christmas time here... most people who believe in Jesus and celebrate the real Christmas don't even give gifts on the 25th, Christmas morning is a time to go to a special service at church and then return home for a nice dinner with family.  Gifts are given at Sinterklaas (Dec. 5th) and even then it's just one small gift. If you do give gifts on the 25th they are small, even the word for gift implies little gift = "cadeautje" .. the "je" at the end of a word sometimes means small or little. For some reason I just love it, it makes me warm and fuzzy inside... the smallness, the personal touch, the little thought... and when a gift is given it's almost a surprise, an unexpected little joy that you weren't expecting, weren't requiring but is kindly received. I feel more balanced here, the anxiety I usually feel is absent. I hope to be out of the country at this time of year for the rest of my life (except I'd like all my friends and family to be with me as well!) I can wish right? Ha ha! ... I pray that you all experience deep peace and joy in remembering Jesus' birth and the moment in history that changed the world and brought true hope when God became man.

Ok, all of this will be a lie in the morning when I wake up a mean person... so I better make myself sleep... love to you all.

december catch up

Gingerbread houses with the kids (and us). We created narrow dutch houses complete with tram tracks, dutch flags, bikes, and attic windows.

Our bitty Christmas tree. I love it. We had to prop it up with a Heineken crate so you could see it over the couch.

A great party on Friday! We invited neighbors, language school classmates, internet friends... Had a household of wonderful new friends! It was a blast hearing people's fascinating life stories! We crashed around 2am. So fun!

Reading stacks of Christmas cards from Joshua House. Thank you! We feel so loved!

Rachel and Allie trying to stay warm. It's been so cold here this week.