my toes

No pictures for this one. They were really blurry. It's better though, I want to remember how I felt at the show. Bon Iver. In Amsterdam. Last night (Friday). With Allie. Gewoon prachtig (a dutch phrase I like alot=simply fantastic!) Allie has loved this group for a while so I gladly accepted when she asked me to come along.

First, I want to quote two tid bits I read recently.

1. A book Julia loaned me called Simpler Living Compassionate Life. There's an excerpt by Cecile Andrews that says, "In living mindfully, we pay attention to whatever we're doing and "suck out all the marrow," as Thoreau said. We become deeply absorbed in what we are doing, appreciate the people we are with, being conscious of the wind on our face... taking the time to notice, slowing down, sitting peacefully, and just being."

2. A book by Bill Johnson called Dreaming with God. "God never intended the believer to be a puppet on a string. God actually makes Himself vulnerable to the desires of His people... while much of the Church is waiting for the next word from God, He is waiting to hear the dream of His people. He longs for us to take our role, not because He needs us, but because He loves us."

The theme of dreaming/creativity/mindfulness/simply living has been in my face a lot lately. These days my life consists of very simple things: going to school, studying, eating with new friends, listening to a new language, being quiet a lot, getting to know my new city, reading, praying, buying food, cooking food, sleeping. And it's been difficult at times coming from a pace of life that was not at all like that. I hardly had time to eat, let alone be quiet and pray sometimes. God's been quieting me down asking me to be still. Remember who He is and that He is God and He loves me and has a plan for my life and an amazing plan for the church, way better than something I can make up. 

So, it was last night that I got a glimpse of God, again! Of worship.  As J (the singer of Bon Iver) walked on the stage, I thought, "who let this guy on?" He looked like a mountain man, wild hair and a beard, plaid flannel shirt. Straight from the Mid-West. He sat down pulled out his guitar and started to sing... a light gut wrenching note. And I though, "oh, never mind.. I see now..." I was in a daze the rest of the night... as J went from a quiet whispery song to yelling and almost roaring in the mic as his band mates hammered on drums behind him. Every inch of his body was a part of the music. The muscles on his face, his legs and arms. I saw King David in this guy. And as I stood there with the music swallowing my body. I thought about worship. About what it means to really worship. This emotion is in my head when I worship but this guy just gave me permission to let it out for good. To really give in to worship. To let it out of my toes, my ears, and the top of my head.